How Reflection Revealed My Truth
Earlier this year, I took some time to review my journal entries from my last year as a full-time distance education lecturer.
Let me tell you.
It was eye-opening.
That journal revealed my deepest thoughts during the Spring 2023 semester and confirmed what my daughter, Zoe, said to me once I was no longer working at that institution: “Mommy, you manifested being free of that job.”
And a child shall lead them…. That is what came to my mind. It is amazing how children who have not been completely censored, children who have that divine insight, children who have not been bogged down by adulting, can see what we may not see or perhaps what we are unwilling to admit.
I am so grateful that I tracked my experience.
Although there were some enjoyable moments within the courses that I loved to teach just because the students were so passionate, engaged, conscientious, and thirsty for knowledge, it was extremely apparent that I was not fulfilled in the environment even as a “distant” faculty member.
Our department had been brutally dismembered, and thusly, our program had been moved abruptly to a different “college” within the university. From the very beginning, it was apparent that they did not want our program there, and they were not going to spend any time getting to know how it functioned.
The change occurred in the fall of 2020. Go figure!
Even though a committee had come together to defend our existence to the current administration, the decision had been made to move us and to dismantle the entire department.
It was mindboggling.
I had been the first full-time distance education lecturer in the first fully online program on the campus and for me, the program and the department felt like home. I enjoyed the liberty I had to design my courses, try new things, and evolve as a seasoned facilitator for current and future educators.
I especially had come to love the convenience of being home while also connecting with my students in even deeper ways than I would in person.
Sometimes, I think that students felt more comfortable opening up to me because there was no face-to-face intimidation, no preconceived notions, and a device that shielded us by keeping us far enough apart if we did not like our vibe.
Fortunately, I had established close relationships with so many students while they were in my courses and even relationships that extended beyond their graduation. I had been invited to graduation dinners, bridal showers, weddings, and even to meet for lunch and dinner in my city. Yes, I had had students drive to my city to meet me multiple times and it always blew my mind.
I had been a confidante for students who struggled through the edTPA process, a portfolio and teaching assessment required of education majors. I had been a listening ear or guidance counselor for students who were puzzled by their student teaching experience or unhappy with their job search and I had done my best to inspire those who needed support when life was life-ing.
But even still. I knew that I had overstayed my welcome.
I knew that I had ignored the still, small voice that had told me in 2014 that it was time to stretch myself and pursue other interests. Okay, let me say it…I knew that I had been told by The Most High to pursue my consulting business way before online education became the ordinary option that it is today.
But, I had disobeyed because I appreciated the monthly check, the benefits, and the convenience of teaching from home. It allowed me to volunteer at my child’s school, pick her up, be home if she was sick, and take charge of my day.
Throughout the years, I had been able to commit wholeheartedly to teaching well online while also pursuing business passions like a podcast, a blog, a YouTube channel, and even be a part of community of internet marketers.
So, yes, I stayed and disobeyed.
But the last semester of my journal entries revealed the cost of disobedience and I was glad that I had preserved the feelings, the events, and the impact in my own words.
That is the beauty of a reflective practice routine.
You begin to “say” the things you ruminate about or question over and over again. You give yourself permission to lash out, process, and even enjoy the experiences you are having on your journey.
And most of all, you have the record of it henceforth and forevermore.
So, yes, I created a journal because I was doing the work but losing myself in the process. I asked myself what I wanted to know–no, what I needed to know. Then, I permitted myself to answer questions like–
➡️ What am I learning?
➡️ What’s working?
➡️ What do I need to change?
That’s how The Professor’s Week in Review was born.
As I reviewed my entries from Spring 2023, it dawned on me that it was not just a journal—it was a safe space to reflect, recharge, and reconnect with my purpose. I used this journal to rediscover my peace and eventually make a major career decision.
Imagine what it could reveal to you.
Choose your format and start your journey here:
Your commitment to reflective practice begins now, and you will not regret it.